I
Sextilis was the name of the sixth child
in Romulus’ family of ten months
then Popilius produced two more month-babies
–
January and February – in 700BC.
Popilius decreed that Sextilis had 29 days
to do its business but out of kindness
Julius Caesar added two in 45BC.
Sextilis’ name was changed to August in
honour
of Octavian who conquered Alexandria
in that month in 30BC. Octavian went on
to change his own name to Augustus
pursuing propinquity and pride.
His conquest of Alexandria
gave Augustus such joy
that August is now the month
we celebrate how happiness happens:
no one is certain, it’s true,
but for various reasons
we presume the creative method
has to do with the moon and in 2012
August began with a full
and ended with a blue,
so happiness may be
doubly abundant this year.
II
How
happiness happens
is a peculiarly American industry.
There are questionnaires about sex,
happiness-enhancement classes,
positive thinking courses,
biblical quotes to memorise,
smiles to learn alone or with
Norman Vincent Peel in the mirror,
hand-clasps to practise in company and
many happy-making things to buy.
For those itching to know
things that explain
how
happiness happens
comes to be celebrated in August
include August being
Psoriasis Awareness Month
and Goats Cheese Month.
Its first week is World Breastfeeding Week
so a choice of dairy is available:
August is also
Get Ready for Kindergarten Month
for those who have finished with the breast
and whose psoriasis is no longer
contagious.
If you feel you are failing
in your pursuit of happiness
and your brain is disintegrating
here’s your last hope:
August is also Neurosurgery
Outreach Month.
