First Aid

Ambivalence is a euphemism: 

I felt I had been injected  

with the juice of an Amazonian creeper 

that accelerated ageing.

How could I have come to this 

and not yet sixty? 

“It’s hereditary,” the audiologist said. 

“Blame your father”.  

Sure, but he was dead, 

These memorial ‘mini-chines’ 

would inhabit my ears for years.

They made it easier to hear voices,

but hearing aids,

like nasal hair, 

add nought to intimacy.

Within a month 

I lost one, uninsured –

what a dollar shock.

Now using my fourth, 

the cost keeps going up. 

The technology will be perfect by the time I die. 

Solar Panel

In choosing nine members to consult,

the Sun considered the political disposition

of the principal planets,

and took account of the fractious

and frequently suicidal asteroid belt. 

Each of the nine members of the panel

was unique in its/his/her requirements

for life support – but by evolution

each had arrived

at similar stellar intelligence.

The panel was convened

to consider the fate of Earth. 

Basically, the Sun was over

the dissolute behaviour

of the myriad human ants 

and their unreflective scurrying,

impervious to advertising

urging them to spend more time

sitting thinking in the sun

sans iPhone.

A consensus settled on the use 

of two dedicated asteroids

suicide bombers that would blast

obscuring clouds of dust,

freezing the planet on impact,

cleansing the Earth of humans.

New life forms might emerge

and perhaps

not make

such a mess.  

“Worth a try,” the sun said,

calling for volunteers.