UNDERSTUDYING DAD

 

Today I am my father,

How this happened

is a secret, but I did it.

 

 …………………………….

 

So here I am in hospital.

I have myeloma.

My wife, who has been crazy on and off

for decades, is at home, but Maisie has come

with flowers and reassuring chat.

 

I’ve taught Maths for years, increasingly Applied –

Mechanics it was called – because theory, like my faith,

had dried out –  seaweed on the shore

that left me wondering as the tide ebbed

what if anything it meant.

 

Maisie is a comfort.

I like her cheer and warmth.

So much chill about insanity at home

and contagious.  I often feel

I, too, am going mad.

 

…………………………………

 

This incarnation is too distressing.

I can only take it in bits.

I think I’ll quit.